The number of children living in poverty rose by 100,000 in 2006-2007 to 2.9 million before housing costs a government report states.

The answer to halting this is simple: make the people who are working to provide for their families dig a bit deeper into their fat, capitalist pockets and also pay for those who aren’t. As Kate Green, the head of the Child Poverty Action Group, stated: the government should spend at least an extra £3bn a year on benefits and tax credits to meet its promises on child poverty. You tell 'em, Kate. Kate's got her finger on the pulse.

That’s the problem (one of many) with this country: the employed classes are so selfish with their money. Yes, it’s YOU I’m talking about. You stingy, self-centred bastards.

I realized the depth of this selfishness for myself the last time I visited Alton Towers. I approached the turnstiles, the distant screams of enjoyment in the air, to feel a tug on my t-shirt, turned and there was a pasty urchin looking up at me. ‘My Dad says you’re paying for me,’ the urchin mumbled between expletives. ‘And my brothers and sisters.’ He poked a mucky thumb over his shoulder to a fat man dragging on a tab a few yards away who was talking to a thin, pregnant woman with a big bony nose and a black eye. She was busy texting on two mobile ‘phones. They were surrounded obliviously by a group of five or six scruffy kids running around and trying to set fire to a cat. I felt shamed. I’d already bought the parents' tickets (Shane and Chelsea, you might have seen them opening their hearts on Jeremy Kyle a few months back, discussing incestuous fidelity issues) for them to have a go on the rides and enjoy themselves, but had forgotten - in my eager rush to satisfy my own egocentric desires and spend a bit of my wage on my thoughtless, avaricious self - their six offspring; the fruits of their union. What a twat I am.

I paid up. Handed my Bank Holiday bonus across. A few quid extra for a couple of family buckets at the KFC inside. Obviously, I couldn’t afford to go in myself after that but, hey, I can’t begin to describe the welter of emotion I felt in my chest as I watched that family have a free ride on me. I’m still feeling it.