English Heritage have agreed a £50,000 restoration programme for popular cockney actress Barbara Windsor’s boobs. Windsor’s classic and traditionally English pink-nippled, big and bouncy breasts, a national treasure since their first unfettered appearance in British 60s comedy film Carry on Camping, have showed wear of late according to some critics, and the restoration programme aims to preserve the celebrity briskets for the benefit of the nation. The deal, which will see both chubblies brought back to full British standards and wobbling like jelly on a plate, was sealed after public visiting rights to the refurbished mammaries was agreed by Windsor and her agent, former 60s London Gangster, Joey ‘No-Knuckles’ McMalone, and upper class negotiators from English Heritage over a fish and chip supper in the Blind Beggar public house, Streatham. Already propped up and undergoing basic structural work, the first trippers are expected to admire the completely restored fulsome handful by October 2008.

Windsor, who played chirpy Queen Vic landlady Peggy Mitchell in the BBC's Eastenders soap opera, declared herself to be chuffed by the deal, tittering, 'It's a little bit cheeky, darling, but all educational!' An excited Griff Rhys Jones, presenter of BBC’s Restoration programme, who visited the derelict and storm-damaged breasts in 2004 said: ‘I can’t wait to get my hands on them.’